


gaudy two-shoes

by phahbiyah



Series: shorts (less than 2000 words) [5]
Category: Original Work, biggest-gaudiest-patronuses - Fandom, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Gen, based on that one ask for gaud about bnha, dimension hopping, i wrote this on a whim in an hour, what else do i tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-27 11:36:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16701787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phahbiyah/pseuds/phahbiyah
Summary: In which Gaud becomes an anarchist.





	gaudy two-shoes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gaud](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Gaud).



> why did i make this.
> 
> based on that one ask gaud got recently about bnha

**_Gaud ???_ **

**Quirk** : Demonic Possession- the ability to become and embody the mental image of a demon-like being when possessing non-living things. Includes shitposting, random fucking shit, and also vagueposting. Strangely enough, when nearing the end of their time in the object, they begin to say very deep and thoughtful things. Usually just stays in the form of pink jello that they found when they were 5.

 **Age** : ?

 **Birthday:** ?

 **Height** : fluctuating.

 **Likes** : the colo(u)r pink, shitposting, making people uncomfortable, Tumblr

 **Dislikes** : people, green candles, rocks in the shape of a triangle

* * *

“So…” Midoriya starts, eyeing you carefully. “How did all of, well-” he gestures to you, then the common area behind him- “ _this_ , happen again?”

You shrug defensively, suddenly dropping to the floor and doing the splits. Your fishnet nearly rips, and a bag of hot pink noodles falls with a _schlorp_ beside you. A phone appears in your hand, and you instinctively swipe and open the _Tumblr_ app. First quickly making a draft with the first thing that comes to mind, you then put your phone away back into your shoulder pocket and glance up at Midoriya.

He sighs. “Fine- maybe I’ll ask something different. How did you even _end up_ in the hero course. You’ve been here for less than a day and something already happened. Although, I am thankful you’re here instead of that little purple-”

The last words are said under his breath. You think you prefer not to know what they were.

You shrug again.

Midoriya breathes sharply through his nose. You decide you’re going to call him Memedoriya. The look on his face says he’s agitated. “Can you even _speak_?” he asks, a little more frustrated.

Shrug.

Memedoriya pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alright. Fine, I’ll just ask yes or no questions, and you nod or shake your head. Okay? Aizawa-sensei told me to interrogate you, since he’s busy.”

You think of shrugging, but instead you nod. You aren’t sure why.

Pushing yourself off the ground, you sit back on the unstable chair. You pick up the floor noodles as well, holding a finger up to Memedoriya, signalling for him to hold on.

You slowly take out the dry noodles, then place them on a styrofoam- wait no, now it’s plastic- plate in front of you. The you promptly devour the plastic bag.

_Crunch. Crunch._

Memedoriya ignores you. He simply continues talking, as if nothing just happened.

“First: is this whole mess your fault?”

You ponder a little. If the mess he’s talking about is the inevitable fate of malevolence taking over the world and slowly driving people insane to the point of not knowing who they are, then no. It’s not your fault. If he’s talking about how all the items in the common area are inverted colo(u)rs, then yes, it is your fault.

 _I needed a picture for a shitpost,_ you type on your phone, tendrils of nothingness slapping the virtual keyboard. Pink stains rest on the places you touch. _Is that so much to ask?_

He glances over at your screen, then puts a finger on his chin. “Okay. But how do you change it back?”

You shrug.

“Right. Only yes or no questions.”

You nod.

“ _Can_ you change it back?”

You nod.

He begins thinking, which slowly morphs into a muttering session. It’s only interrupted when Kouda, the Animal Whisperer, comes down. He catches Memedoriya’s attention, and whispers in his ear.

 **_Fool_** _,_ you think. **_No language can be hidden from me, Gaud of all_** _. Except French. French sucks._

You’re too lazy to figure out what Kouda said so you stand back, relaxing your toes muscles and ejecting the loose screws from your hands. You’re thankful; they were kind of getting stale. Stale screws aren’t very tasty. Also, you realized that Kouda left.

Suddenly, Memedoriya sighs. “I can’t make sense of your Quirk. Just- type on your phone how to get rid of it.”

You oblige.

Minutes pass, and your typing begins to halt. Soon enough, you show Memedoriya. He looks confused.

“Be an anarchist,” he recites slowly. “Love yourself to spite the world.” He looks at you, a puzzled look on his face. “ _What? Even?_ "

You raise your eyebrows. Or rather, your lack of eyebrows. You begin typing once more: _You heard me._ A look of understanding begins to dawn on Young Memedoriya’s face. You look at him, giving him a reassuring grin and nodding.

You snap your fingers, and the world turns back to normal.

 _My work here is done,_ you type. _I will go now. Gaudbye, little gremlin._

You fall back into the black void awaiting your arrival. As you descend, you can hear Memedoriya shouting.

“Gaud! I’ll never forget you!”

“Bad idea,” you say, speaking for the first time in this fic.

**Author's Note:**

> i still dont know why i named this that. why did i do this. also i hope i captured the embodiment of gaud.
> 
>  
> 
> go follow my gauddamned [Tumblr](https://phahbiyah.tumblr.com/) if you want


End file.
